"Not Me You See" written July 2, 2009

There's a building pressure in my head,
a voice screaming without words or sound,
tears burning and no reason why,
just a sudden desire to leap.

Sinking to the floor of an empty house,
hunched to hold it all inside,
shut up, shut up,
want company, want solitude.

Chewing at my chapped lips,
mouth tasting of bitter sorrow,
tears coating the back of my throat,
please replace it with your taste.

Body aches for touch,
please stop teasing me,
keep your hands to yourself,
all chances have been destroyed.

Deep gasping breath to smother a scream,
clawing and pulling in failed attempts,
deny me my desired escape,
release me from bonds of madness.

Scream louder and louder,
no one can hear me break apart,
don't see the tormenting images of my mind,
just make it all STOP.

The pressure builds in my mind,
temptation and desires whispering,
forgive what I may attempt,
this is not me you see...